In my day it was called Rome: Total War, and I poured hours into it. My favourite moment was the time I hid a tiny Celt army in the woods and baited a much larger Romano-British army there, then sprung a trap to break their morale so I could chop them up. For a moment, it was very Braveheart, until their reinforcements arrived and trampled me, but we don’t talk about that. It was the height of my war-mongering hubris, the sort of outrageous odds one attempts after spending many a happy weekend waging war across Europe in pleated Roman skirts. I really loved that game.

Total War: Rome – RemasteredDeveloper: Feral Interactive, Creative AssemblyPublisher: Sega Platform: Played on PCAvailability: Out 29th April on Steam (and half-price if you own the old game)

And now it’s back! Back as Total War: Rome – Remastered, and smartened up for 2021, with some new graphical effects, higher definition this and that, bigger resolutions, gameplay improvements, and (probably most importantly) more factions than ever to try and win as. But it’s still unmistakably what it once was, that game I remember, and there’s something so unbelievably comforting in going back.

It’s really nice not to have to figure out the winning formula again. These kinds of games seem much more complicated today. They’ve had years to get their audiences used to more features, more nuance, more depth. And whenever I’m confronted with one of them, I wither. But Rome Remastered: it even has a warning when you begin, saying sorry but it does some things differently to what you’re used to now. How I clucked with excitement when I read that! “Oh this is the proper stuff!” I snorted. They don’t make them like this any more!”

Crash issues

Sorry for the slight delay publishing this piece but I’ve been suffering from a nasty case of crash-to-desktop every time I manually try to fight a battle in the game. I didn’t want to publish anything until it was fixed.

The problem was apparently due to updated AMD drivers, and I’ve been in constant contact with the Rome Remastered team and they’ve come up with a fix. The game now works properly for me.

I’m assured it will also work properly for everyone else, and that it was a problem limited to the press-build of the game. Fingers crossed.

Poor old Bertie. It’s much more likely Creative Assembly is apologising for Rome being a bit dumber than a modern Total War game. But you know what? I like dumb. It’s nice not having to think too hard. I like already knowing what I’m doing. It makes playing Rome Remastered feel like sliding a familiar board game out from under a cupboard and being giddy with rediscovery for a weekend or two. “Oh, yes, and this does this – I remember!” Lots of that. “I’ve still got it!” It’s a gentle and warm memory to spend time in again.